Next

My friend, Michelle, asked me what's next? "What's next," I say, as I reach for a potato chip. Next up on the agenda is smartening to heck up! It has been so easy to allow my emotions to "guide" my eating habits.

"I'm sad so I am going to eat {insert horrible for me food here}."

I am sitting down right now, with notebook in hand to get a meal plan going again, in order to alleviate some temptations, increase health value and reduce caloric intake...

Let's get this party started!

Have you seen my wagon?

"Pardon me, officer but I have lost my wagon. You see I fell off the wagon and when I fell, I rolled and now I can't find it."

Yes, that's right, ladies {and gentlemen?}; I fell off my weight loss wagon. I stopped even trying for a bit. Things got rough with my 16 year old and I got distracted; she ran away from home and I lost my footing entirely and landed right on my butt.

I am here to say to you that sometimes I get stuck in the mud but I keep trying to get out and as long as I keep trying I am not completely stuck, right? As long as I keep trying I will move forward.

A post wherein I hang my head in shame

I haven't been very disciplined. {sigh} Unless! You count Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper slurpees disciplined. Do you? Say you do! I haven't had Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper since our last trip to Kansas City 2 years ago, and so, when I saw 7-11 had those slurpees I went wild. I lost contol of all my senses, espcially logic. This is why my post is aptly named and why I am swiping my right foot at the dirt creating a cloud of dust as I gesture the universal sign of defeat with my right arm, fist lightly made as I swing my folded arm ever so slightly towards the center of my body all whilst hanging my head, tipped slightly to the left with an aw-shucks-golly-gee-and-darn-it-all-to-heck look upon my face.

This, my friends, is where my weakness lies, all those yummy things in life, all those distractions that come in the form of other people wanting ice cream and such, and me following along bleating like a little sheep.

What can you do? You can't beat yourself up over what has been done. No crying over spilled milk and all that jazz, or, as the case may be, no crying over consumed Heavenly Hash or don't put your slurpees all in one basket, or something like that. {grin}

There's nothing left to do but start fresh. His mercies are made new every day and I guess that includes dietary mercies of a gluttonous sheep. Baaaa!

{grin}

It's all about goals and focus

and strict training and self discipline. This entire life is like that; our walk with God is like that. I purpose to live the best life I can for my God, for Yeshuwa.
Believe it or not, this includes my physical health and fitness. How can I give "all my mind and all my soul and all my strength" if they are too tired and unfit to do much of anything.

I don't want to lose weight just so I can be a size 5 again. Sure that's a small part of it but it's a VERY small part (I certainly am not striving to be a size 5 though); my purpose to this weight loss journey is to become the best physical me I can be so that I can give that, whole-heartedly, back to God. So, that's my focus. I am, as it says in 1 Cor 9:19-27, a runner in a race but I am running so as to win the prize (ans that prize is not a smaller dress size but my King). I will not run aimlessly or beat the air; I am putting my strength towards a goal.

Tomorrow's Game Plan

I have my lunch and "munchies" for work planned for tomorrow. I have packed a black plum, a cup and a half of cauliflower, about a cup and a half of citrus spinach salad, 2 slices of whole wheat bread to toast at work and I will be taking some plain tuna and a couple of tomato slices to add to the salad (to go with the other 3/4 cup of spinach for the sandwich).

I plan on going for a walk at lunch once I am done eating and again on my coffee break in the afternoon (which will give me about 40 minutes of exercise throughout the day. Once home and after supper is done with I want to do about another hour or so of wiifit (and it looks like I may have a bit of a challenge in the advanced dance step if Rush continues on the path she is on right now...but it will have to wait until tomorrow; I am off to bed. I haven't slept much in the last 3 days.)

Hit and Miss

Today I either nailed it or my thumbnail; kind of a cool analogy I think. When I did do good, I did really well but when I did bad, I did awful. Heh! I sound like the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead and, given all my curls, I am completely not surprised!

I ate fairly well; perhaps too much lunch but not bad. It was a pasta salad choke full of veggies and some grilled chicken and a smidge of cheddar but, and this is a BIG but (and I am not referring to my butt; thank you. very. much!) I ate a cakester so that is two of those little cakey cookie things of chocolately goodness (shudder) and I had a 500 ml of gingerale, as I was feeling very nauseated today.

Supper was a grilled burger with a pineapple ring and a "burger first" bun (which are great...not as much bread as a normal burger bun); we had some grilled potatoes and stir fried veggies (zucchini, peppers, celery, onions and mushrooms. I didn't have any mushrooms; I don't like them and therefore, my mushrooms found themselves on BigB's plate {grin}).

After supper the kids wanted slurpees and instead of being strong and not getting one at all or, at the very least getting a baby one, I got a coke slurpee. Which means I consumed 30 teaspoons of sugar or some other ridiculous amount of crap! OY! {total fail}

I did, so far, do 58 minutes of wiifit (30 of that was on the advanced dance-step aerobic one) and the remainder was yoga and balance activities. A friend of mine sent me a link to a facebook application called my diet or something similar. I added it and added my activities and food log, perhaps seeing caloric intake/burn-off beside what I eat and do will motivate me some more.

Slimdown Saturday

So I came upon the blog of a gal who is looking for some company on her weightloss journey - just so happens I am traveling that road as well. I thought I would join her. I am keeping this on a separate blog because I really don't want to advertise this venture to everyone I know. Granted they may stumble upon this but then so be it; I am just not putting it out there to those who know me that it is here. (Still too much pride I guess)

I don't have a huge amount of weight to lose but still, enough that it feels like a burden to me. Having dealt with a severe eating disorder most of my life I struggle with my body image and I struggle with not falling into that same mindset and those same strongholds.

This time I ask for God's guidance to help me and to strengthen me; I know I can't do it on my own and I need Him to strengthen me. As I press into Him, my focus will change. I want to keep my focus on God as I go through this and perhaps with a little company and motiation, this burden shall pass.

I am on the music team at our church and it can be physically demanding and I need to get myself into a place where I am fit enough that I can serve God to the best of my ability wherever and however He needs me.

What I have been doing so far:

We have wiifit and I have been doing that for the last two weeks as well as trying to be more aware of what I eat. At this point, I am not certain what my weight is at but I will find out soon enough. I am not sure if I am brave enough to post it or if I am even at a place where my pride will allow me to post it. I do have pride that needs to be stripped off; I know it!

There you have it step one.